as of now
and this is the Back Cover
I have narrowed it down to these pictures with words
if anyone can make them look better, let me know
I want to get back into scosplay
I want to be able tp afford cosplay. seriously I totally want to do a Fem Dok with a white pleather corset and a slightly longer blonde wig and white boots
that's the only one that I really want to do right now, I'm not sure---maybe other Silent Hill Nurses or Wa Lolita or something.
but I know before that I'm eithe going to make or buy like 8 new corsets cause only like 3 of mine fit me. if three
and FUCK i've gained 7 lbs
SEVEN LBS
I feel soooo fat, back to the diet pills again :(
gar.
this is the third time that my grandma has accused me of stealing...
THE THIRD TIME
it's funny how I'm never around when this suppposdly happens. Like either I'm at work or I'm stranded at Autozone with car problems
this is the only time that I've been around when money has gone missing.
yeah it's logical since i'm the only one that lives here. but I DIDN"T FUCKING DO IT.
I don't have car insurance. not anymore since i can't afford it, I can't afford rent right now because i'm not getting enough hours.
so pretty much I'm getting more on backrent which gives grandma enough venom to accuse me of shit.,
WTF?
*ARICOUGH*
I wish someone would freaking comment. >:(
Ari, I NEEDS YOU TO HELPZ MEH.
SERIOUSLY
the EG test shoot was today.
my photographer NEVER FUCKING SHOWED UP. Nick you retard i'm going to kick you in the fucking face.
so I had to do it, I was cold and ended up getting about 12 shots. the test shoot did better.
but, I got at least 4 good shots,
so I've posted some here.
then WORK called they're all fucked up and asked me to come in then TOLD me to come in, so I sent J. Home and they're like "oh yeah sorry, forgot about that"
FUCK YOU
i'm sick and exhausted and i have to work tommorrow. so it's going to be an early night tonight.
NICK I AM SO MAD AT YOU!! YOU OWE ME 1.75 ON TOP OF THAT AND I WANT MY OTHER PHOTO
PLZ
kthnxbai
other than that, I need monies bad. :( like lotsa monies, almost 200$, can i borrow from anyone?
i've been working alot, and my nana's in the hospital for dehydration she wasn't eating because wasn't making her eat becasuse I wasn't home.
i gotta work tommorrow. ad it's going to sucj
thursday I gotta get the makeup and the top hat for Saturday.
GAR
GAR
the clip in the drivers door breaks. I have to open it from the inside to get in which means window or a back door. so now I have to take off my drivers door panel and fucking fix it. which is going to be a pain in the ass.
that, and I had to turn the key like 4 times because it wouldn't start, just clicked. I think it was cause I had the steering wheel in the wrong position. I hope it was at least. That's a brand new starter it better not have a dead spot yet! ill be fuckiung pissed.
after work today I decided to go drive by all the Halloween hotspots in the area, see if I found anything.
BENDER PARK: (im leaving it up to you to do the research). Empty, completely quiet, heard a distinct motorcycle engine as iwas driving down the second curve. Peaceful. Confirmed at least a dozen deaths)
P.C. GLUE FACTORY: Based on driveby. nothing confirmed 1 death--- Charles Rothe
FITTZIMMONS RD: went up to the barricades- heard obvious moaning, whining, groaning, but could possibly be the engine in my car. Strong Uneasy feeling Ties in with Bender Park, Several Confirmed Deaths here.
OAKWOOD RD: Nothing, saw an abandonded car, and from far away it looked like 2 figures...no stange feelings. DEBUNKED (Confirfmed 2 deaths at cliff)
BRIDGE ON BORDER: felt a strong male presence...heard nothing--except perhaps a boy swiimmming, unlekely though. Further research needed. Confirmed 3 deaths on Bridge 1: Brendon Schuburger ( I THINK was his name, my mother knew him)
so there's what's been debunked and what hasn't.
anywho. I'm back at work, i'm back home. I got my paycheck today. and i'm trying to pinch pennies, i'm trying to sleep alot more so that i eat less, adn i've dropped a few pounds (not enough) I'm sad, I should be at youmacon right now
I filled up my gas tank today.
25$ I pulled away from the pump saying "I'll never do that again." it's sad, but we all know that gas is gonna sky rocket no matter who gets into offfice.
really, honestly I'm voting for Trent Reznor.
also, I put a sign on my yard.
"If you believe in Obama's wealth re distribution, please put 20$ in my mailbox"
pffft. no one put anything in yet.
ghey!
so anyway, that's all i'm updating right now. anything else. just ask.
This is the oldest picture I have, it's of my dad when he was a baby, almost 60 years ago
This is in my living room, the large picture is of my sister, who died when I was in the eighth grade.
The picture in the far bottom corner is my dad and my sister when she was litttle, the one aboce it is my dad, and my grandma and Uncle Charlie, who lived in Alaska, all of them except my sister and my dad passed awayt when I was really little.
This is me and my dad at my brother's wedding,
I was probably anout thirteen in this pic, it's my dad's old Harley, it'sa lowrider. he had a custom purple paintjob on it that made the paper.
a
my new haircolor, It's Auburn up front and black blue everywhere else. I missed a few spots, but it looks alright, crappy picture due to crying all day.
I didn't take it very well at all. I took it worse than i took my dad's death,. really really bad. Somehow, I half expected him to get up, he's defied the odds so many times before. I got 2 calls today to come into work, TWO. can you not read the note "I have a funeral, and will be unable to take shifts until Sunday"
retards, I swear.
well at least I have a job to go back to.
Sunday is trick or treat, I spend almost 20$ on candy for the little bastards. I wnna find someone to take half of my shift that night
besides i'm not sure if i'll ba able to work mentally.
baby Josh
and no, I'm not cutting this for personal reasons. deal with it. move on. there's seven pictures or so.
bvecause smoking in the basement is cool.
srsly.
RIDING THE BUZ IS COOL
no, he didn't even put sheets on the mother fucking bed,. tard,
once I get a scanner, or something, i'm doing one for my dad too.
I'm gonna make comments on some of hte photos.
I work again
Sat 3-11
Tues 3-11
just so I don't forget, cause I will. ithink. idk. nighters.
so I got to work, at ten to seven and started. well our maitenance guy didn't show up at one, so I ended up cleaning all the showers and wht not, I was supposed to leave at three but Jose was like :WE NEEDZ YOU" and Iwas like "Do you want me to cover Rigo (The maintenence guy) shift, then when Jeff came in he was like "can you stay till eight? (13 hours) I said that it's ok. then at eight Ashley was like OMG i'm tired, I went to a concert last night, so I said want me to cover the rest of your shift?" and she was ecstatic to go home and sleep.
I pulled a 16 hour day on a shift that was supposed to be a seven hour shift.
I rock.
16X 7.50=
someone do the math
Me: I didn't really care for Pete, I liked his tats, but he's got the personality of a five year old. srsly
Jezz Lander. I think hes hot,
Me: meh. whatever
Jezz Lander: he's got great junk
Me: I've seen better
Jezz Lander: yeah well you a 'ho
Me: Fuck you, I don't get paid.
Jezz Lander that's cause no one wants to pay you :)
Me: no, I charge by the pound LOL
Jezz Lander: OMG lol, this guy looks like Pete Wentz
Me: what guy?
Jezz Lander: This guy in this porno on redtube. OMG he's HUGE
Me: lol
Me: wait what?
Me: Share bitch
Jezz Lander (sends link)
Me; OMG OMFG OMG
jezz Lander: calm down hes not that hot
Me; THATS GEORGE OMFG WHAT THE FUCKNUTS SHITM ONKEYS
Jezz Lander: lol whut?
Me: I have someone to kill be back latahs.
hellscowboybc is away.
George. did. porn.
porn.
PORN.
not very good porn either, to spare the obvious virgins that read my LJ i'm withholding the link, cause I GET TO SEE HIM NEKKID NOT YOU.
<center><table border="0" style="border: 1px black solid; width: 90%"><tr><td><a href="http://www.corknut.org/toys/trickortreat/
I went to cosfu today and trolled on the Youmacon thread, and I looked at someother threads including mine.
mine didn't bother me. Some posters were like 'stop beating a dead horse and stfu" I don't know what it was that I did or didn't do...I guess in the last year I've really mellowed out after losing my dad. Maybe that's it.
I loved the Youmacon thread. I laughed.
Now I got nothing against Morrigan or staff, but I guess i've been out of the loop to long and it's nice to have some fresh gossip to indulge in.
i'm tempted to post...but i'm afraid that it'll rehash what i've done in the past. >< >< stupid me. I was so immature for my age--and that was only like....a year ago. man. i've really changed. even -I- notice it. wtf?
I don't have anything against cosfu anymore, I would like to know which one of 'em send the flowers to my dad's funeral though. I really woud like to thank them.
so anyway, since i can't get back to sleep, I thought i'd post. I'll probably go to bed early tonight. i'm getting a headache because of lack of sleepies.
No cosplays from me right now and I MIGHT go to Ohayocon, I just don't want to drive that far in that kind of weather. I drive an automatic, so I can't control the car as much. >< d'oh
well i'm done randomly blogging. gonna play SL for a while.
I haven't slept since waking up sunday at around 4. I haven't slept yet. I tried sleeping, I got a good maybe 2 hours in and I SWEAR TO GOD STOP TEXTING ME PLEASEEE.
so now i'm cranky and tired. I'll go to bed after dinner, I'm thinking of going to Wendy's tonight
I got a job today, at a gas station, so i'm very happy.
i paid some rent today>< 150 means i'm only 375$ short plue I owe, my grandma, Doug, and my uncle 100$ each, my stepmom 265$ and Verizon like 150$. I mean, it could be worse. i'm only like 1100 in debt to people right now.
Bills left to pay: Phone, Internet (they haven't sent me my bill yet) and Verizon. my phone bill was about 100$ this month.
i'm cranky and tired. so i'm going to try to sleep. please don't text me. I swear to god please. please don't call either. lemme sleep.
I just read ophelia_begins journal and thought I should post the touch ups on my tat. these were done a bout a year ago, I just never posted them. the flowers were highlighted more and a brigther blue was placed on the black flower
I was coming down Rawson to turn down Howell, then I started to brake, I felt the tires skid and spin, trying to gain traction because it was so wet. I slid through the light going about 5mph, I saw a red Pontiac grandprix go by and thought 'thank god" then I looked to the left and saw the dodge intrepid.I ididn't see my life flash before my eyes, I thought "oh shit, my first accident" that's when I felt the impact primarily on my leg, I actually *looked down* and saw the dash board smash, then I looked up and saw the car spin off into the grass. It happened so fast I didn't even have time to tense up, which in reality was a good thing, otherwise i would've really hurt myself. That's when I started screaming and I got hystarical. I started screaming "Oh my god" for probably a godd 3 minutes, before I started hugging my steering wheel. and apologizing to hte car. after I got done screaming, the other Driver (A military Seargant named Bryan) got out and told me to call an ambulance cause I was bleeding. I did, after I hung up the phone, I killed the engine. turned the key and turned the car off. IT was still runinig. then i put on the hazard lights. The paramedics showed up and I was more concerned "OMG is my car ok," they wanted to use the jaws of life to get me out of the car. but I chose to go out the passanger side door. I called work, then I called my mom. they bandaged me up and tried to take me to the hospital, but I refused. Bryan was unijured and didn't claim any injuries on the insurance claim. His car had 2,000$ worth of damage- and was considered totaled. mine--about 4000$ worth of damage--completly totaled out.
scroll down to see the pictures from the accident. I have suffered long term injuries in my back and neck, primarily cause I didn't want to go to the doctor.
oh well. i'll pay for it later.
MORE PICTURES SHUT UP YOU KNOW YOU L
yummy, Can't help but think he looks alot like my ex, George. Except George had alot more tatts. lj Cut to be nice to the jealous uggos. </ljcut>
This one is funny, those screenshots are from 2 diffrerent movies, Death Tunnel and Street 16, I recognized his hand because of the jewelry.
The last 3 are from his small stint on Charmed.
oh, and find the image of Trent Reznor you get a cookie
IMAGE HEAVY
</ljcut>
the fucking day before.
well I have the car up for sale so, IDK, if I get anywhere near what i'm asking, i'm gonna get a nice looking old escort.
Stolen from Heza
1 Riana needs this operation (prolly)
2Riana needs to go tanning (No)
3. Riana needs your help
4 Riana needs to help you (WTF)
5 RIANA NEEDS HELP
6 Riana needs to find someone else and leave Chris brown alone (WTF)
7 Riana needs to tell the truth about her and...
8.Riana needs food.
9. Riana needs to bite
10. Riana needs to spend money on Cosmetics.
lol
f you're on my friends list, I want to know 36 things about you. I don't care if we never talk, or if we already know everything about each other. Short and sweet is fine ... you're on my list, so I want to know you better!
Comment here and repost a blank one on your own journal.
01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?
Josh calls this morning still complaining that he's without power. well fine. "oh and I cut my hair" ok fine. and then he goes into bitching he doesn't have a job. WELL THEN GO FUCKING FIND ONE.
I am so fed up with his bitching and complaining about a job and when I say "everyone's hiring for Christmas" he starts the whole "You can't tell me what to do BLAH BLACH BLACH
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
all he fucking does is complain, but he doesn't do anything. i'm not going to sit here and listen to his bitching. because when I have a fucking problem, he always interjects something to try and win out.
I FUCKING TOTALED MY CAR.
I"M SORRY BUT THATS A BIGGER PROBLEM THA
I listened to him bitch for an HOUR yesterday about stupid fucking shit
I'm, sick of the way that he always talks down to me,
i'm tired of the way he's treated me so finally after spending like 4 days thinking about it i sent him a text message saying
" idon't think us getting back together is going to work"
and he sends a complaint that I ignore
"it's not that, I just don't think it will work."
'ok then'
THE FUCKING END.
I swear, honestly, I deserve better than some guy who's going to play fucking mind games.
the scary thing is i've had 4 marriage proposals in the last week
sides, george kinda wants to get back together.
im' done.
it's just for Heza.
it's alot prettier than mabel though.
85,000 miles on it.
that's not bad
and it's a 93 not a 94. >
I did take the grill of Mabel and hung it on my wall with her tags and one of the black flowers.
I also sold her. for 160$
This is how bad the damage is.
I killed my baby and I can't fix her.
i'm looking at a few more cars. I saw a 97 Escort for 1900 with 92,000 miles on it. It seems like a fair price for a good car.
what do you think?
it's white.
The roads were slippery. I on the other hand sustained minor back and neck injuries and some cuts on my arm, other than that i'm fine, i'm more concerned about my car. The winsheiled is broken/cracked and the door and front panel will need to be replaced nad there's pissible frame damage.
I'll know soon
if anything, I'm buying another Escort, they're good cars.
Manperiod.deviantart.com will be the photographer.
~That is all.
WTF?
so I've been pretty depressed and Josh more so Upset, and I can see why. I"m looking for another job, and need 300$ for rent by the first of July or I'll be in trouble.
I won't lose my apartment, but that's beside the point. I've got 2 interviews that I know of already, and put my resume out to over 50 companies.
yeah.
I gotta make Josh some cookies.
Josh and I are getting married, and he's leaving for Iraq in less than a month.
I'm pissed.
pics of the ring tommorrow
actual full shoot/cosplay is pending.
so, I've done a bit of a model search and just finished the test shoot for J. Clemente.
I'll post the work soon
someone fucking comment.
here is my rendition of Elegant Gothic Hastily put together
and here is a pciture of John
http://thar.us/view/497
I suggest you all go back and re-read Elegant Gothic.
I hate George.
>:(.
he lied to me, told me he was 28. He's really 31. FUCK.
I hate myself.
><>><><><><><><<<><>
someone just fucking shot me.
Friday.
I arrived at 8:oo for the Silent Hill shoot. I was half dressed. went out to dinner later and met Heza-chan and talked with her for a while, and it was so nice to hang out with her, she is such a sweet down to earth person, and she's very honest and wise. She's a total doll, and he boyfriend was adorable, he was just an big panda bear. It was awesome getting to hang with you Heza!!
Saturday
I slept till nine, and borrowed a roommates badge to go to the dealers room, I charged an underbust corset to hubby's credit card (oh and he loves it). then I just killed time pretty much until the hellsing shoot. I left it early because it sucked, thats when I met Daguru. Then I went home, and took hubby to the hospital.
OROCHIMIYAZAKI (SP) I tried looking for you, but couldn't find you :(. where were you Saturday Morning?
I wasn't all keen on going to acen that's why I left early and came late. but I'm glad I went and got to hang out with Heza Chan, and I"m very glad that I finally confronted Daguru and slapped him. Cause, seriously, that shit had gone on long enough. Now I can put it behind me.
" I didn't slap you." LIES!!!!!!! I have been griping about it for a year and a half. At this point I grabbed his arm and turned him around and with my right hand open palmed I slapped his left cheek. Whatever makeup he had on, rubbed off on my hand, and burned. (ME) "I had fucking bruises after what you did."
(Brian) "What!?" (keeps talking as I am walking away.)
IRT saw it. The officer (name max) stopped me and asked if I was alright and what had happened. I told him how he had slapped me and called me fat, and that he more than deserved what he had gotten. Hell, this kid is lucky he still has his boy-bits intact (that's if he ever had them to begin with)
Brian's demeanor scares me and I am seriously afraid that he's going to kill me in my sleep, so, I hope one of his friends lets him know that I always sleep with in and arms length of a 12 gauge.
Brian Beech, I hope this confirms that I've been telling people how much I hate you. Stop lying and telling people that I'm enamored with you. I hate you, and I've said at least as much to your face. I won't attempt to contact/speak with you ever again. I"ve attempted to make amends with you when I gave Greg that picture. But you've chosen to burn every bridge and blow them up. This is not my problem/fault. I am not an evil violent person (like you) but you have honestly brought out my worst. my dad hated you, and he hated very few people. You're very lucky to have your life after ths shit you and your friends pulled with me and my family. Have a nice life. I hate you.
OMFG It's FINALLY over
paycheck on saturday. YES!!!
I have a job and an apt, and a car. I love my life.
is happy cause I just got laid.
I smell lawsuit. I hate her so much.
Two nights ago I was getting ready for bed when I noticed a prowler in my yard. I called my grandpa who lives nearby and the cops.
George's first night in his new house was spent at my apartment.
Yesterday I was in Urgent Care cause I was puking, getting dizzy, and having really bad cramps, and bleeding alot more than normal. Turns out I had a miscarriage and I hadn't even known that I was pregnant. they gave me meds to take, so I'm feeling a bit better, but I still have to go to work today.
that's all for now, soon, I"ll post pics of my apartment and of mabel.
~
- Mood:
exhausted - Lyrical Madness:The City is at War Cobra Starship
The weather was bad, and I burned the clutch because my back tires couldn't get any traction because there's not much tread left on them
I gots a job, working 40 hours every week, making more than you. I go to work at 10, but I've got to stop eating lunch at the food court, it's expensive as all hell and I've gained three lbs.
I'm bringing my lunch with me.
I don't work -in- the mall. I work on the corner at a formal wear store, I tailor and alter clothes for weddings and proms. I love it, but my back really aches at the end of the day.
Trying to put together Elegant Gothic as a costume. :) it would be soo cool. but I can't help but wonder if it'd be too gothic-daguru-esque.
yeah well Fuck him. Mine's better, cause I'm basing it off the character that I made, I created and designed.
so the hellsing community drama is finally over, and I won. Allaerial has explained why they won't apologize, but they gotta understand. I DON"T HOLD GRUDGES. Even if you don't apologize I won't hold anything against you. Unless your name is Brian, or Bryan Be(a)ch(err).
I've really got nothing against anyone else except "IT" but "IT" can fuck off.
I didn't keep track off who tried to fuck me over, I know a few people somewhat, kinda, but that's it.
so yeah, I did want to say that.
now, I'm going to bed, cause I"m exhausted and I work in the morning.
Later~
The True Rip Van Winkle
Deadly Apothecary
Burned out the clutchplate.
500-800 to get a new one.
I ONLY PAID 400$ for the car. I just love how my mother bought the car, despite the fact that I told her NO and bitches that I burned it out. BULL SHIT. George told her when we bought th e car that the clutch was going , Karen told her that.
fuck, I learn on an automatic and I have to drive a stick. Fuck. I learned in 2 days. how can I not learn without burning the clutch once in a while, IT"S PART OF FUCKING LEARNING. She can pay for the repairs. because this is just bullshit. I TOLD HER NO. she did it anyway, it was her bad decison and she should incur the cost, and she will. I should have Mabel back in 3 days or so.
Isn't it perfect, I had a date tonight and I have to work in the morning.
This sucks, alot.
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hellsingripvan- Ms. Cyanide Suicide
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